Before I was an addict

Before I was an Addict

I am an honest, hardworking, and loyal individual

That regularly sacrifices for others, even spiritual

But it’s not enough

They think they can walk over me just cuz I’m tough

Yes I’m strong

But your wrong

Just because I smile and I’m docile, doesn’t mean that I’m not hostile

Why does this keep happening

I’m a good man that withstands but now my rage is snapping in,

Again, why does this keep happening

I busted my ass, I built it to last,

I’m trying to better the future and learn from the past

I’m mad!

I want to hurt you but I don’t

I want to love you but I won’t,

But I do

I don’t care

I won’t care

But I will

All that I do for you and you judge me still

My love that had is dead, now pain is being spilled

What have I sacrificed for

All you do is want more

The more I give the more I pour

More frequent visits to the liquor store

But the pain won’t stop

So I pop the top and the pills I pop

Now drowning in suppression

Until reality swings back around and I flop,

Right back into the moment that I could not block

Back to being ignored

While everyone around me seems to be adored,

Think better of me, I implore

The better you think, the better I’ll be

Please don’t put your darkness on me

I already can’t see

My anxiety is building again get away from me

But don’t leave come back

I’m only this way cuz it’s the drugs I lack

I need them to avoid the depression attacks

This was the creation of my drug cabinet being stacked

Before I knew I was an addict, before my ground became cracked